A priest and a rabbi walk into a bar...
So last night a priest, a rabbi, and my friend Charlie walk into a bar. They ordered 9 double whiskeys and 3 beers. They proceed to chug the drinks...the priest and the rabbi finish well before Charlie. That makes Charlie the driver for the night. That's the way this group rolled.
I was supposed to meet up with these guys, but I wasn't sure which bar they were patronizing. So I called Charlie a few times and left him messages. However, he never returned my calls. So at about 11:00, I decided to forget about going out and I went to bed. I was sort of disappointed. You see I had big news to tell Charlie.
Charlie and I were both orphans and grew up in foster homes. I had found my birth mother a couple of months ago and we had started a good relationship. Charlie wanted to do the same. So I had been using some of the same resources to track down Charlie's mother. Last night I had found her name and her address. She lived in our neighborhood. I knew Charlie would be excited. The news would have to wait until morning.
I got a call around 3:30 AM. It was the hospital. They had found Charlie's phone and saw that I had called several times earlier in the evening. So they assumed I was a close friend. They informed me that the priest, the rabbi, and Charlie had been in a terrible car wreck. They were banged up, but they were alive. I rushed to the hospital. The police were outside of Charlie's room. I asked if I could see him. They said I could. They told me Charlie was in a lot of trouble. He had hit and killed a woman walking her dog during the accident. It was a woman from our neighborhood. I was speechless when they told me who it was.
I went into Charlie's room. I walked up to the bed and grabbed his hand. He opened his eyes and gave me a little smile. I said, "Hey Charlie." He said, "I'm in a lot of trouble." I just nodded my head. He knew something else was bothering me. He demanded to know what else was going on. I told him about me finding out who is birth mother was and that I knew she was still in our neighborhood. Charlie said, "Is that all?" I said, "No Charlie. The woman you killed in the accident was your mother." He let go of my hand and turned away sobbing. He said. "Let me be alone."
I walked out of the room and out of the hospital. The police called me a little while ago and told me that Charlie had hung himself in the hospital bathroom.
By the way, the woman Charlie hit was not really his mother, but Charlie never called me back last night and that pissed me off.
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