Once upon a time I woke up with a sore throat.  I didn't think anything of it, but then a month went by and my voice is returning back to normal.  It wasn't even going deeper so I knew I couldn't be hitting puberty #2.  My paranoid but yet my proud Italian father suggest I take a trip to the doctors.  I book an afternoon appointment with the doctor when I arrived for my appointment.  I told him my situation and the tests begin.  We do a bunch of voice tests but still no results so he puts his finger in my bum.  Still nothing but now when I go poo it is like turning on the tap.  The doctor is as baffled as I am.  The doctor asks me if I have been smoking I replied "No! That's disgusting."  He then asked if I was smoking cock.  and I replied "err ummm....nooooo" Then my father busted down the door and yelled. "BULLSHIT!!! Tell him the truth he is a doctor!"  The doctor tried to calm my father down but no such luck.  When my father gets mad he speaks in Italian and he was yelling at the doctor to do more test.  The doctor then yelled back at him in Italian.  Now this was where I was tripping balls because the doctor was a fresh off the boat Chinese guy.  True story I swear.  Just hearing the yelling back and forth was freaking me out.  So I left the building and promised myself to never smoke a pole every again.