After reading Bo's last blog, I feel like sharing something that happened to me over the weekend. Its about a person I used to know ...

That person is an ex-boyfriend. 7 years ago I went out with a 17 year old and I was 19. We met in the middle of a football field. I had decided to go smoke a joint, sitting in me middle of the field at 6am on a saturday morning. I had not slept all night, i was playing with my nintendo. So he came talk to me asking the obvious why are you here at this time and stuff. Long story short, we dated for 2 months and then I realised I was a working woman with rent to pay and he was still in high school so we broke up.

Ive always kept his msn because we agreed to stay friend although we never really saw each other again. I didnt hear from him in 2 years and last saturday he showed up on my msn.

He told me that when he turned 18, his mom sold the house to become a full time trucker and she just threw him out on the streets. Then he got a job in a poultry farm. His job was to hang freshly slain turkeys on the convoyer hooks before they get plucked and chopped. He was caught dealing an once of weed at work so he lost his job. After that he became addicted to cocaine so he started stealing. He got his ass in jail twice for it. Then he started whoring himself. He would fuck women of all ages, weights and races for 40$. Last year he spent a few months in a psychiatric hospital because he was diagnosed with schyzofrenia. He still hears voices but doesnt want to tell his doctor in fear of having heavier medication or worse, going back to the nut-house. He actually stopped going to the doctors and hes gonna run out of pills soon. Yet, every night he goes at the bar and tries to find his long lost love.

The guy I used to know whats always joking around. He was a drummer in a band and was also writing stand up comedy material. He wanted to get into the army, travel, get married and have kids someday. I dont know if I will ever be able to explain to myself what happened to the guy. It makes me realise that even if im out of work for a burn out, that my best friend now lives 1000 miles away and it feels like life is fucking unfair right now, Im still better off than somebody else. In fact, there are A LOT of people who are doing worse than me. Im gonna be fine but Im worried as to whats going to happen to my ex next and I know Im not the right person to help him. Its hard to accept that sometimes there just is nothing you can do.