so the lady cutting my hair stands behind me and - in a mandatory effort of making conversation - says "haha i just talked to this person about fleas and now i got this itch on my head"

so i'm nice and say "yeah i totally get that too sometimes - but then again, i do a lot of drugs!"

she's kind of distressed by this remark so i go and calm her down by saying "no i dont."

she's cool - i say "not that i'd tell you about it anyways".

she's uneasy again - i say "well but i just did tell you right? so that makes me not do drugs since i wouldn't tell you if i in fact did."

not knowing what to think of this, she's silent and i'm too.

after she's done i say "that was fun" i leave after that.