Halloween is almost here! Don't end up sitting inside again eating pizza and farting around the house. Buy something off this page, go out, and pretend you live in a world of fantasy and wasted slutty vampires. 

Batman: The Dark Knight Adult Mask

 Easy, affordable, and universally respected.

No Tricks...Only Treats Halloween Candy Basket

 Your new edible best friend!

100 Piece Glow Party Pack

 Glow party! You know you can open these up right? Get your Ne on!

Scary Realistic Sightless Mask

 Dress up as a guy who just saw Paula Dean naked!

Halloween PEZ Dispenser Pack (12 count)

 Classic. They glow in the dark too.

Snickers Peanut Butter Pumkins Singles (24 pack)

 Snickers didn't pay us to put these here...but if anyone from Snickers wants to make a deal: [email protected]

Halloween Skeleton Toilet Paper Holder

 Stop just setting the toilet paper on the back of your crusty toilet...it's unlady like.

Ask Me About My Zombie Disguise Flip-Up T-Shirt

 Get this for your girlfriend, and don't let her wear an undershirt. Happy Halloween!

Magical Unicorn Mask

 Gives you superpowers, and is fucking hilarious!

Glow Stick Party Cups (16-18oz. 24 count)

 Your not drunk until your cup looks like the Olympic rings!

Star Wars Princess Leia Slave Costume

 Hopefully the girl comes with the costume!

Second Skin Supersuits

 Perfect for being a (completely anonymous) Jackass!

Raptor Dog Costume

 Put this on your pitbull and blame dinosaurs for your neighbor's dead cat.

Robin Hood Adult Costume

 Take candy from the rich, and give it to your poor gut!