Well, I'm going to describe to you possibly the most disgusting Thing I have ever seen; my substitute teacher. We'll call her Mrs. D. Yes, It is married too *Shudder* But still, every time I look at her, I cannot help but burst out in laughter; she is THAT ridiculous.

First off, she is old. I'm not sure how old, but she damn sure looks to be about a thousand with a voice to match. You know, the high-pitched, shrieky voice that is so raspy it sounds like she just swallowed whatever was in the dustpan after the floor was swept.

Lets move onto her face. Words cannot describe how utterly disgusting this "woman" really is, but I'll do my best. Her face is covered in wrinkles, and not the normal kind. I'm talking deep, skin-sagging-off-her-face kind of wrinkle. They're more like Shhhhhlupinkles, because that is the noise they make as they continue their journey downward. Eww, right? But wait; it gets better.

Her makeup. Can you picture this thing actually wearing MAKEUP? I mean, she needs all she can get, but she looks like a doll. She had "rosy" cheeks; or maybe someone dunked their hands in the blush and just kinda smeared it all over her face. It looks like she did this without a mirror. Her lipstick was also mushed all over her upper-lip, even right under her nose. And of course, she wouldn't be complete without her eyeliner; that made her eyes look like they were practically sunk into her sockets. Maybe that wasn't eyeliner; it wouldn't surprise me, she already looks like the Crypt Keeper without the makeup.

She also has "The Bob" haircut; the bowl-cut for girls. This, combined with her diminutive 4 ft height just adds to the freakshow. She also smells. Really bad. It's like a combination of cigarettes, stale coffee, and shit. I kid you not, this woman stinks to high hell.

Her attitude isn't much better. A mix of Nazi and religious zealot. She is incredibly stupid, but when you make her mad, she will give you a detention for no reason at all. Good thing is, she's practically deaf.

I will try to get a picture of this zombie when she subs for us next, so stay tuned.

So, my question for you is: Who was your most disgusting teacher and why?