Brandenhorst is a fixture at San Jose City Council meetings, where her weekly complaints about lasers, Mexicans with AIDS and homicidal city officials have made her both a pariah and an occasional dose of comic relief. Metroactive did a piece featuring her, and they transcribe one of her more colorful rants:

A woman seated in the middle of the council chambers gets out of her seat and walks toward the podium. She is wearing black sneakers, black pants and a black shirt. She has long, straight gray hair, which is pulled back into a pony tail fastened by a smart black-and-white bow. Everyone in the chamber has seen her many, many times before.

“My name is Cathy Brandhorst,” she begins slowly. “I came today because”–she pauses to gather herself–”I guess it’s a difficult situation. I was a kidnapped child. And I was kidnapped by Priscilla Presley.” The council has not heard this one before from Brandhorst, who has been coming here to speak during the so-called “oral communications” segment of the council’s meetings for years. Some council members listen, blinking.

“She had kidnapped me when I was a small baby,” she continues. “It all began–I was also an entertainer. I was very small when I started entertaining. … I became a very popular singer and a dancer at the same time. I continued to be an entertainer until I was approximately 14 years old. I was also a very abused child.” Brandhorst holds up a National Enquirer she has brought with her for the council to see. By now, most council members are either suppressing laughter or talking to a colleague, not paying attention to Brandhorst.

“They keep putting my baby picture in [the tabloid],” she says, pointing to photos of murdered beauty-contest princess JonBenet Ramsey. “I am this missing person and I can prove it. This child has cords around her neck; I also have the same cord marks around my neck.” She now abruptly segues into her finale: “As I continue to say, you people are all from Mexico. You continue to murder children, you kidnap children. … It doesn’t make any difference who you murder, who you destroy. … We all deserve a way to stay alive without being murdered.”

And here she is.