After my rose died, I was cleaning up the mess.  I threw the dead petals and stem in the trash.  I poured the water from the vase down the drain.  The water left a thick white residue in the bottom of my sink.  I assumed it was the sugar I added to the water.  However, it looked more like the salty film that gets left on the road after a snow melt.  I put a little of the residue on my finger and tasted it.  It was salt.  Something was amiss.  I knew my neighbor Dave was acting weird.  So I paid him a visit.

   Dave answered his door and seemed a little shocked to see me.  I said, "Hey Dave!  How are you?"  He replied, "Hey Roman.  Ummmm...I'm a...I'm good.  How are you?"  I said, "Oh I'm fine.  My rose died today, though.  I think Charlie might be up to something.  He hasn't been over here has he?"  Dave glanced over at his end table and my spare key was sitting on it.  He said, "Charlie?  No, not that I know of."  I changed my tone of suspicion to jest and replied, "It's probably just my imagination.  Roses die right?"  After a small sigh of relief, Dave said, "Yeah, that's right Roman.  Roses die and books get..."  He stopped abruptly.  I turned and said, "Books get what Dave?"  "Oh nothing.  I don't know where I was going with that.  I'm exhausted."  He said forcing out a fake yawn and stretching.  I said calmly, "Well you better get to bed then Dave."  I let out a little evil chuckle as I was leaving his apartment. 

   I decided to call Charlie.  He answered.  I said, "The rose is dead Charlie.  The petals are all on the table."  He paused and said, "Sorry Roman.  I know how much you loved that rose.  Maybe you should get another one."  I played along and said, "Yeah maybe.  I might just finish reading my book."  I said matter-of-factly.  I could hear Charlie trying to cover a laugh.  I said with great disdain, "What's so funny?"  "Oh nothing.  I just saw a funny video on the internet.  Cheer up buddy.  I'll talk to you later."  Charlie quickly blurted.  I hung up and was sure of Charlie's guilt.

   Charlie is a good friend.  We have had a terrific relationship.  He has always been a prankster.  I have learned to accept that.  I let my anger build for a bit.  Then I think back to all the good times Charlie and I have shared.  Retaliation seems juvenile at this point and I decide to bury the hatchet and forgive Charlie, as well as Dave.

   I invite both Charlie and Dave over to my place for a little meeting.  I said, "I want to clear the air.  I know about the pranks you guys pulled..the salting of the rose and ripping out the pages in my book.  Very funny.  I want to let you know I'm not going to seek any vengeance.  Let's just stop the stupid pranks and all be friends again."  They looked at each other and started laughing.  Then Charlie said, "OK deal.  We're sorry we fucked up your little flower."  Then they laughed some more.  I bent down beside my recliner and picked up my newly honed hatchet.  Dave's back was to me and I buried it deep in the back of his skull, yanked it out as he fell, and then moved towards Charlie.  He was frozen and began to piss his pants.  I moved in closer and whispered with great malice, "It was a fucking ROSE, Charlie...a beautiful, perfect fucking ROSE.  It had symbolism Charlie."  I swung quickly before Charlie got a hand up.  The hatchet buried in, just above his ear.  He dropped to the floor.  I felt great relief.  They were now forgiven.