....I woke up this morning only to discover that my huge balls were in fact blue...

 LADIES! Why do you insist on cockblocking dudes at every given opportunity!? Last night I was at a party, and there were beautiful women EVERYWHERE! A gay midget could have gotten laid by a supermodel at this party.... it was a goddamn booty bonanza, a poon party if you will... It was a mother fucking vag extravaganza! 

    But anyways, as the story goes, I was putting all my time and effort and game into this one particularily attractive broad. She was giving off all these sexual vibes, and got really defensive when any other girls would come near. So naturally i'm thinking GODDAMN, i'm hookin up with this sweetie tonight for sure. But then the end of the night comes and we're down in my room and she totally blew me off! What a fucking ripoff, i spent all this time and energy seducing this woman only to be blue balled at the end of the night. GIRLS, PLEASE, FROM MEN EVERYWHERE.... if your gonna be cockblocking a dude all night at least have the courtesy to give him a blow job.