Vesper's blog about nostalgia made me think of this..

i'm starting to get really sad about this year's christmas.

ever since we were kids, before i can even remember, every christmas, my older brother, zac,�would wake me up at like 5 in the morning and we would go downstairs and look at all our presents. we'd begin with our stockings. we'd unload them and look at what was inside and then replace all of the things back into the stockings. then we'd go over to our presents under the tree, trying to find out who had the most, shake a few to see what was inside. then we'd make hot chocolate and wait untill 7 o'clock, the designated time we were aloud to wake our parents up. my oldest brother josh, who if any of you have read my other blog, is basically the black sheep of the family, wouldn't wake up to open presents untill like 9 when me and zac were already too busy playing with ours

now when i say ever sense we were young, i mean we've done it every year, including last year when were all grown up and all.

but this year everything is different. it's the first time since zac moved out, that i've really felt like an only child (zac lives like 40 minutes away so i still see him at least once a week)

we even got a fake tree this year, when all the years before we would all go out as a family (except josh of course..) and spend an hour finding the best tree..

and my parents are even already putting out presents under the tree because my mom thinks it looks cute as decoration. now i obviously know there is no santa, and it's not even that i think that christmas is this majical time of the year. it's mostly just about the traditions we have, and the bond that i've had with my brother my whole life, that only seems to be deteriorating over the past few months (which may be due to something eles that happened over the summer, but that's another story for another day..maybe i'll write a blog about it)

but mainly it's just us getting older, growing apart and leading our own lives..

but christmas was going to have to change eventually, i just wasn't ready for it i suppose..but at least my birthdays coming up, whoooo! lol