Troll-wife and I came to an agreement in the divorce settlement. It looks like I won't be going to court. I'll refrain from talking about her or anything she did. I'll also refrain from discussing the terms of the settlement. I will, however, say that after a year of legal battling, she didn't even get what I offered when she served me with divorce papers.

My first court appearance was Sept. 30th, 2011. It was an emergency hearing for some pretty henious acts that had been initiated concerning one of my children. Both parties thought there was some bullshit going on. One of us was right.

Remember Neko talking shit about how bad my attorney was? Hate to admit it, he was spot on. Worst attorney ever. I had to file a complaint with the Nevada Bar Association about him. My hearing was supposed to start at 10:00. I was in my nicest suit, getting ready to leave at 8:00 to get there super early and, even though I wasn't supposed to have to say anything, prepare with my lawyer. I called him up to coordinate where I would meet with him. Two hours before court was supposed to start, it was pretty clear that I'd waken him up with my call. What was worse, he sounded really rough. He said he'd meet me in front of the courtroom at 9:30.

The next time I talked to him was at 10:15. After not answering my calls or returning them, he calls me up 15 minutes after we're supposed to be in front of the judge and asks ME to talk to opposing counsel to ask for a delay. "Look, I'm not supposed to even talk to that guy. He's her lawyer. That's your job."

He showed up an hour and a half late. He was hammered. Totally impared on drugs or alcohol. I didn't know what the fuck to do. It's an emergency hearing. It's going to happen right fucking now whether or not I had representation. Do I fire him and get my ass handed to me by a professional lawyer? Do I allow him to rally and fake his way through something that is supposed to be mostly procedural? I told him to get his shit together and let him go into the courtroom with me.

He fucked it up. I caught him powernapping when opposing counsel was talking. At one point, I stood up, directly addressed the judge, and against all procedural discourse, gave my own rebuttal to troll-wife's lawyer. Under the circumstances, I did really well. I essentially got everything I wanted. No shit here, drunk-lawyer held a pen in his hand and looked at his legal pad, like he was taking notes, and powernapped while I spoke.

I had to get another lawyer, obviously. I wasted $3,000 on drunk-laywer and had to shell out another $6,300 on new-lawyer.

Things between troll-wife and I aren't as contentious now. There's no love lost, but I don't think she's trying to actively antagonize me, troll style. I, as much as somebody can, have gotten on with my life. New relationship is going really well. I've reached a sort of financial equilibrium. I'm starting to do better at my job again. My relationship with my kids is stronger than ever.

Aside from having my credit destroyed, being financially ruined, losing my beautiful house, and scarring my children for life, this divorce is the best thing that's happened to me in fifteen years. It's amazing how somebody I knew I was going to spend the rest of my life with and be there for when they got old can metamorphose into some toxic person that i want nothing to do with. I feel no love for her. I cherish no fond memories of our time together. I feel nothing when I consider things going well or not well for her. I treat her with the courtesy I'd show a co-worker I don't like very much. I do this because for me, in the long run, it's just easier. I have to communicate with her from now on due to our common association by son and daughter