I've been banking on something happening at the counsellor for a while now.  I had hoped my wife would finally open up and tell me what the fucking problem was.

She showed up 45 minutes late.

She told the counsellor she didn't want the marriage to continue.

She admitted she hadn't done shit to repair the marriage.  She admitted she has done Jack-Shit.

When we came home, there was a come to Jesus meeting.  A certain husband stopped kissing a certain wife's ass trying to make her happy.

"So what, you're going to leave me if I'm mean?   Fuck you.  I've been kissing your ass for months.  That hasn't been working out so well either.  It's time for you to stop getting your ass kissed.  It's time for you to stop only thinking about yourself.  It's time to grow up and be a fucking parent.  Go parent your fucking kids."

I insisted that we talk to the kids. 

"We can do it now, together, or the kids and I can do it after you leave to your mom's."

She stayed for the talk.  I gave the kids the skinny.  I kept on trying to defer to her, to give her side.  She didn't.  She let me do it.  My son started to cry.  He cried until he fell asleep on the couch and I can't wake him up now.  I had to carry him upstairs against all reasonable actions for a guy who just got his fucking stitches out.

My daughter wouldn't even look at my wife.  She pulled away from her when she tried to hug her.  She ran upstairs. 

I followed my wife out to the car when she left.

"That went better than I thought it would.  That was only a fucking catastrophe."

I explained that I was fucking done with her.  I also explained, that even now, if she pulled her head out of her ass, something could happen.

My marriage is dead.

The only hope I have now is to try to forge a new relationship with my wife.  Maybe, when the smoke settles, if she pulls her head out, I could try to be a better husband, she could try to be a better wife, and we could both try to be better parents.

And maybe monkeys could fly out my ass.

I'm done for now.  I'm not giving up hope.  I'm not holding my breath though.