You guys who were saying it's too soon for me to be doing this are totally right.

I'm literally an emotional cripple right now.

I took Lisa out to a comedy show tonight (not dangle's friend).  We saw this second tier show.  It was fucking hilarious.  The warm up acts were so-so.  The headliner is this nobody named Joe Lowers.  He had almost no material and just worked the audience.  It was knee slapping funny.

He would not stop talking about Lisa's boobs. 

"Holy cow!  Just show me one.  I'll imagine the other one.  Just the top.  C'mon... Just the one."

When he found out she is a radiologist that does mamography, it was on.  Lisa was laughing so hard she was literally crying.  Then he started in on me.  When he found out it was only our third date, it was on again.

"So you guys haven't even done it yet?"

"Soon"  Lisa said.

"Hey, guy, reach over and see if she's shaved her legs.  If she has, you're in."

I took her home.  She invited me in. 

I left before anything happened.  I had to pick up my kids.  I mean I didn't really have to.  There's no reason they couldn't have spent the night over my mother-in-law's house.  But I told them I'd pick them up.

I left an attractive woman home alone.  She told the comedian that we were on the verge of sex.  The comedian screamed at me, "What the fuck are you doing here, dude?"

"It's because I'm an emotional cripple, asshole."  I didn't say that, but it's true.

She offered me wine, water, showed me her daughter's high school project.  I was robotic.  I left.  I told my kids I'd pick them up before midnight and I did.

My wife is out doing whatever it is that she does all night and I left an attractive woman home alone to pick up my kids.

She DOES have magnificent breasts.  She has a better body than my wife and she's seven years older.  I'm totally over my wife and want nothing to do with her.  If my wife begged me for sex, I know for a fact I wouldn't do it.  But she's still haunting me.

I gave Lisa a hug and a kiss when I left.  I totally groped her ass.  I didn't mean to.  That's where my wife's waist is.  Lisa is taller than she.

LIfe is weird and confusing.

But when I'm with Lisa, I don't feel sad.  She's really cool.  We've got the same horrible story in common.  She's mostly gotten on with her life.  I'm not there yet.  I don't think I want to give her up, but I'm not sure I can make the logical progressions to protect the relationship

I can gorilla fuck a tourist while recovering from surgery, but I can't bring myself to get past second base with an intelligent attractive woman who really likes me and is inviting me to do so.

LIfe is weird and confusing.