So God is real, approximately 3.7 billion years ago he created the Universe, then he took his time you know because creating the universe made him break a sweat- so at 3.6 billion years ago he created simple cells, 3.4 billion years ago cyanobacteria. Then 2 billion years ago he created complex cells, then 1 billion years ago multicellular life. So then after warming up he got down to the good stuff, 600 million years ago he created animals, arthopods, complex animals, fish, land plants, insects, seeds, amphibians and reptiles, and then 200 million years ago he created mammals, birds and flowers. Then bored on day 66 million years ago he is like Fuck this shit blood, Im popping a cap in a dinosaurs ass and they all disappear.

    From then the birds and the animals just you know chilled smoked some blunts and hung around until 20 million years ago until Hominidaes (great apes) are created and you know just monkey around. 2.5 million years ago the Homo genus of Hominidaes are created. Then 200,000 years ago some monkeys who look anatomically like humans appear, but they are totally not humans, and then 6000 years ago God works his magic and yee boi he creates us, humans, but we are not even related to those dirty monkeys my God damn grand pappy was no king kong wannabee.

    Anyone who says that this painfully slow amount of time is due to the universe as we know it coming to be, the formation of the galaxies and the evolution of species does not make sense, that these creatures stem from single cell organisms evolving into more complex organisms and eventually evolving into us, they are wrong and their funerals should be picketed. God created you and me 6000 years ago, he created my dad Adam from dust and my mother Eve from my dads rib, you know because there wasnt much dirt lying around. He gave them paradise with only one catch, they were not allowed knowledge, they could stay in perfection as long as they didnt think for themselves, and you know because God makes perfect sense, he put the knowledge in an apple.

   But lets look at how we know of Gods creation of the universe. Christianity as we know is steeped in Jewish roots, but lets just stick with the formation of the bible.  It came to life as we know of today, at the Council of Nicea in 325 AD where the Emperor Constantine, convened all Christian Cardinals, and decided amongst all the doctrines, scriptures and stories spanning over two thousands years and voted between them to what went into the bible, and they also decided that Jesus was a messenger of God and in fact the son of God. That is right, it was decided over 300 years after Jesus died that he was the son of God. Why the sudden turn around did a Roman Emperor suddenly embrace Christianity, oh yes because the Roman Empire was failing.

    That said there are arguments about the Big Bang, and how the singularity is evidence of God creating the universe. It amuses me that bible bashers using religious dogma as evidence of science. Considering the total span covered in the bible is between 2000BC and 200AD, and all we have learnt about science comes after 1580 AD from Galileo, Newton, Einstein, Darwin and many others. It is ridiculous, without scientific theories the God squad wouldnt be able to refute anything. Science has done more for humanity in mere hundreds or years than religions have done since their inception.  We dont know how we got to be here, but I know that when we find out, the ashes of Christianity will have long cooled and been left by the wayside in the ever climbing heights of science.