As I get closer and closer to whatever sick fucking conclusion of my marriage that is pending, it occurs to me that I should stop documenting the particulars of my plan or the actions I'm taking. 

I'm not in the habit of lying at all.  But volunteering too much information probably isn't too good of an idea.  At first, I wished my wife had the fucking gumption or give-a-shit-itude to actually read my blogs.  Now, I hope she doesn't.  She's been looking out for number one during this whole crisis.  I need to look out for numbers 1-3, myself being number three.

I've always been a good judge of character.  I've rarely trusted somebody I shouldn't.  It's even more rare for me not to trust somebody who merits it.  Right now, my wife is being a child.  She says she wants what's best for the children, when that's certainly not the case. 

If there was physical or mental abuse of spouse or child, divorce would be best for them.  That's not happening.

I think it's clear to everybody but my wife, that she's doing what she thinks is best for her, not my children.

Even though my feelings for my wife have changed to such a degree that I believe I would be happier without her, I would still do my level best to keep the family together.  Because I believe that would be best for the children.  I would sacrifice my opportunity for happiness to ensure my kids had some stability in their lives.  My wife is not on board with that.

My kids need parents that don't put themselves first.  I'm not sure my wife has that capacity anymore.

I'm going to stop sharing specifics of what's going on.  I'm going to continue journalling on paper for documentation purposes, but at this point, I wouldn't be doing my kids any good by tipping my hand on the internet.

I'll try to continue blogging to keep the ratio of shit blogs under control, but I'll try to slow down on my personal problems, especially with respect to my plans.