In the interest of good, well rounded writing, I shall submit a series of haiku poems.  I would love to see what my esteemed compatriots have to offer as well.  Let them be as vile and offensive as you wish...just stick to the haiku tradition of 3 metrical phrases of 5, 7, and 5 syllables.

My favorite shirt

Clings, damply to my torso.

The dryer is broke.

   ---By Dr G