In the last week, I've had a lot of interest in me from the opposite sex.  My wife has been hooking up for a long time.  She's used to it.  She doesn't even have to be divorced to get what she wants.  It doesn't matter to her. 

I've got three women who've given me their numbers in the last three days.  What's sick is they're all body doubles for my wife.  It is fucking creepy.  Long black hair, curvy, but not fat.  One of them is actually Italian too.  My problem is, I don't think I should actually hook up until I'm divorced.  My wife just doesn't give a shit.  I'd like to share a lawyer and let a state mediator decide what's fair for a few grand.  If I serve her papers, she'll contest them.  She doesn't agree she should pay alimony and that my son should go to school in Boulder City, by all measures the best school in Clark County.

Here's a picture of the 40s meetup club I went to with the poker potluck.  To my right is the girl who I was interested in.  She has, only seconds earlier, check raised my ass to a bust out.  That's a look of chagrin on my face there.  I thought my aces were good.  She's a little taller than my wife and of undetermined Asian ancestry, but she's a total body double of my wife before she lost all of her weight (back when I loved her).  I didn't even notice how pronounced it was until I looked at the photos.

I had one of my wife's so called friends call me up the other day:  "I just heard that you and (wife's name) are getting divorced!  That's terrible!  You guys were such a cute couple.  Uh...  Does this mean you're available now?"

I'm no idiot.  I don't think my wife is going to set traps for me.  Not that she's above it ethically.  It's just that she's too busy with her new life that she isn't thinking about anything else.

"Well... I'm not actually divorced yet.  We're not even physically separated anymore either.  She moved back in.  Not to reconcile though.  I've got your number now though.  I'll keep you posted."

A friend's ex-wife, who he's still social with, just broke up with her boyfriend of five years.  He's living with his girlfriend, so she's not trying to hook up with him, but mentions she'd like somebody to "just go out with and have a good time."

He texts me "Hey, buddy, you ready for a woman yet?"

"Born ready, motherfucker, hale and hearty.  What, your mother lonely again?"

"No, fucker, my ex-wife."

"?"

"She just broke up with her boyfriend."

"Dude, I'm not actually divorced yet."

"You're separated though, right?"

"No, not really.  She moved back in so she won't look like a douche when custody is decided."

"But she's still going out every night right?"

"Mostly."

"Fucking people?"

"Not my problem."

"Okay, look dude.  She just wants to go out on a few dates with somebody.  She's got long black hair, hourglass figure, with big boobs, she's Italian..."

"Stop.  You've met my wife right?"

"Yeah."

"You just described her."

"Oh, shit, you're right.  Lisa is taller than her though."

"Okay, give me her number."

I don't know what the fuck to do.  Actually hooking up with somebody would be theraputic as hell.  I was, in the cruelest and most bizarre way, dumped by the person I loved most.  That kind of rejection leaves a mark on the most solid of psyches. 

I know this can be reduced to a big head, little head argument.  But that doesn't make it any less of a dillema.  On the one hand, I could abstain for however long my wife can drag this shit out and be lonely and frustrated.  On the other hand I could a have rabid weasel, rub burn sex-robot session with Lisa or my wife's so called friend and accept the risk.  The ideal situation would be to hook up with Crystaline and build something meaningful even though she's not legally divorced yet either and also on the rebound too which has inherent dangers as well.

It's like the ancient Chinese curse:  "May you live in interesting times."

I need to get divorced from this woman and get on with my life.  This is a toxic fucking environment to both of my kids and I.  There was so much less stress when she was gone.  I need my own house.  I need her 50 miles from me.