Hey ladies,

So pot leaf here apparently spent his whole weekend meticulously planning my demise.        Who wants to take bets on this guy NOT having a girlfriend?

Here's a little piece of message i received in my inbox (which had 14 messages in it upon examination, great to be back, i missed all you fruitcakes too):

"you call me out, then get destroyed by 2 of my blogs and then go back to hiding. Understandable. You should write a blog about how much you wish you were me." First of all, you cunt rag, I don't play on the internets when there are booze and women in other locations. Second of all, I haven't mastered the 1 hand typing quite as nastily as you have, so while you sit there and multi task between spankin it to brazilian shit orgy porn, world of warcraft, and ebaums, I'm out trying to find a girl who looks enough like your mother (or sister, i don't discriminate) to give me mental and penile satisfaction in my sleezy motel room down in southside. Pussy. Secondly: So he wishes, and so it shall be done. This next section will be titled "what i would do if I were that flying douche anomoly, X22Tizzle. 1. Figure out the quickest way to kill myself. 2. Fucking kill myself. That's about it kid. Living your life would be too tortorous to even bare. I would rather be Rosie O'Donell's backup emergency tampon for her heavy days than spend even 1 minute of my awesome existence in your shoes. Which probably smell like shit cause you don't shower, and have whatever they call athetes foot when the person is really fat and unathletic. Did this cat not get the memo that when i shit on people I don't do it as a contest? I do it because I don't like you, and I stand for pretty much everything you don't.  I also don't want anyone to ever get the misconception that I do this for notoriety or some minor internet fame. I do this because people like you give sites that I enjoy a faggoty, lame, and tainted visage that I refuse to tollerate because someone out here has to give a shit or else twats like you would have taken over already and ruined it for all us awesome people. You fuck face. Do you know what I do tizzle? I spit in your mouth while you sleep. When did people get the idea that I'm an asshole because I like to challenge people? I'm an asshole because your a little bitch on wheels who needs someone to slap them around so they realize their place. I'm all the beatings that your mom gave you after that weird incestual sex you had with her rolled into one. I'm the perverbial mayonaisse to your shit sandwich. I'm the uzi to your Ghandi, if you will. I'm the motherfucking Samuel L. Jackson to your 'What'. What ain't no country I ever heard of tizzle, do they speak English in what? ENGLISH MOTHERFUCKER, DO YOU SPEAK IT!? You're gay. You spend your weekends on Ebaums blog section doing (and i can't believe I'm typing this because I can feel my penis shrinking) BATTLE BLOGS! You fucking queer, battle blogs? What is this, ebaums/pokemon world douche tour? Jesus Christ, I hope I never see you in real life because I don't think i have enough sharp objects to jab into my eyes to prevent the burning sensation that your general aura must cause decent people to suffer. You're like a wet fart. At first you think, oh hey, a fart, this could be great. 2 seconds later...BAM!, pants full of doo doo. Nobody wants their pants full of doo doo, and nobody thinks your funny. That's how i roll on metaphors motherfucker, I'm so great, they dont' have to make sense as long as I reference you and some sort of poop. Remember folks, Jesus Loves you, Not you tizzle, Everybody else, Even Seal, Jesus likes seal better than you, Have you seen that guy's face? Terrible. -Mega