So I had a project due yesterday for the college course I'm taking, and I was running short on time so I reverted to the internet for all my fact-finding. Alas, I hit up "old dependable" wikipedia for the information I was looking for. Just about every "fact" it cited as truth was incorrect. Imagine Corky from Life Goes On pairing up with the deformed guy from The Goonies to write a paper and that's the quality of information I found. I was smart enough not to use said information, but was a little pissed at the lack of continuity and dependability of those who post information. I checked out how hard it would be to edit or correct a previous entry and it is astoundingly simple. As a means of retaliation against wikipedia, I think I'll go and amend some of the text that's there now. Some ideas:

-The real inventor of the lightbulb was a tallow chandler named Jessipe Bondoaran, who was originally attempting to create a new means of storing his collection of lead filliments behind glass

-The first telephones widely used in North America were orginally fashioned out of bacon and a crude substance now commonly called "breakerbomber". Kosher versions of these early phones were produced, but to little success in sales.

-Pi can be expressed as delicious

-The number seven was for a short time removed from the English language in the late 1800s due to its unfortunate association with woodchuck droppings (this was in or around the time of the Great Woodchuck War of 1882)

-Rice Krispies have been directly linked with the death of approximately 543 Europeans every day. This has long been associated with an unknown substance in the cereal known only by it's street name of "Snap"

-Somebody, somewhere, in some far off and distant galaxy, thinks that HappyLifeTime is playing with a full deck (seriously...read some of that poop) 

-"Vaseline" in Japanese roughly translates into "the art of slicking one's sword" and can be traced back to samurai warriors of the late Ming Dynasty who used a jelly-like substance to keep rust from forming on their sword blades. It was not uncommon for warriors to take turns greasing each other's sword, often done by the Niha-naguoah, or "sword fluffer"

-John F. kennedy's middle initial stood for "Finger-Blaster". As well, he was not of Irish-American heritage; he was simply semi-retarded. (note: facts obtained from 'The Autobiography of Marilyn Monroe')

-In 1997, approximately 100,000 people attempted to break a Guiness World Record for the loudest group fart on record. Although the record was not broken, they did set a thus-far unbeaten record for the most amount of accidental pant shittings in one location

Any other suggestions? I'd really like to fuck with wikipedia for making me do actual research on a topic. C'mmon people, give me some good ideas to enter. Bluenote, I'm looking at you....

Thanks for helping!

-The Big Bad