I was sitting in my room the other day, watching 'Hitman', which is a damn good movie by the way.  Go rent it or something.  Anyway.  My dad comes into my room with a stupid-ass-looking smile on his face, and tells me to come here.  So I get up, walk out into the hallway, and he points into my bathroom.

There is my six-year old nephew standing there.  Pants down.  Shit staining his ass and legs, and he's laughing.  Then I look down, and see probably the most horrifying fucking thing I've ever seen in my entire life.  The biggest piece of feces that to this day, I have ever come across.  On the internet, on television, and in real life.  I have never seen something so big.

This monstrosity came out of the ass of a six year old.  SIX.  No he's not big.  He's actually a pretty small looking kid.  How in the living hell did that fucking creature come from his ass.  Oh yeah, and the worse thing.  IT WAS ON THE FLOOR.  The kid didn't even make it to the damn toilet.  I don't know if it was too heavy to lift his body up onto the toilet, or if he just decided to rampage my damn bathroom with a monster who nearly killed everything in sight.

Go pick up a small bottle of soda.  Feel the weight?  Yeah, that is how much this damn thing weighed.  I had to pick it up with like 10 paper towels, and it was pretty solid too.  Which is even more horrifying.  Tossed it in a garbage bag, and carried it outside.  Only no, hell no I didn't put it into my garbage bin.  I walked down the road a few feet, and tossed it into my neighbors.  I didn't even tie the damn bag.  Because that was just too much shit.  It had to be nearly a foot long, seriously.

And the thickness, my god.  Like a water bottle, or maybe even a little more.  It was gigantic.  Disgusting.  I am glad it didn't go in the toilet.  Or I might have had to spend time cutting it up into pieces just to fit it in the fucking toilet to get flushed.  As for my dad, he enjoys putting me through this sort of shit.  Literally.