So a friend of mine celebrated her 30th birthday this weekend, she threw herself a big party (yep, she threw her own party - that's another story) and she wanted it to be a real huge thing.  I guess there were 40-50 people there, a keg or 2, lots of hard alcohol, jello shots and other 'stuff'.

After a while I hear someone say, "When is the stripper coming?".  The guys at the party immediately started to develop an exit strategy.  The last thing we wanted to see (most of us anyhow) was some dude swinging his sausage around.

Turns out the stripper is a surprise so we're all made to keep our mouths shut about it, which became increasingly difficult as the jello shots diminished.  Finally someone asks again about the stripper and my buddy's wife says, "Well we better not expect much for $75.00".  I chimed in that he'd probably look like me - she said "Yep."  She was NOT supposed to agree with me...

Anyhow the guy finally shows up and we answered the question - how much stripper do you get for $75.00?  The answer is you get someone's grandpa, At least he would have qualified as a grandpa in stipper-years.

This dude must have been 45, which would have been fine if the ladies were all 60 - but they weren't.  They were all in the 25-30'ish range and 90% of them quite hot, way outta my league and unless this guy was a tripod they wouldn't be impressed with him.  He starts his music and starts his, umm, show...

He starts grinding around the birthday girl and gets all.. something.  He pulls his shirt off and she starts laughing, asks where the REAL stripper is.  Grandpimp starts to get a little more undressed and she stops him, tells him there's no need to go on, he needs to get dressed and leave.

For a dude who comes to peoples houses and gets naked he sure did get embarassed when he was kicked-out.  He grabbed his stuff and headed out, head hung down, he totally took the walk of shame.  he didn't even get his $75.00...