First of all let me say this isn't legal. I have never ever ever done this, nor do I want you to.


As you read through, gather everything you need and wash it out extremely well. Any bacteria will spoil the drink. Germs love sugar so you need to be very very clean. Wash everything in good hot soapy water.

Wash

The first step to making any alcohol is making "wash". This is the first step to any brewing this is where wine, beer, and any low alcohol content drinks come from. Wash is a mixture of any natural sugars. Juice, wheat, fruits, molasses even. It's basically a syrupy thick mix of what's going to ferment.

Beer is made from wheat. There's a little more to making beer so I suggest going for wine types. If you have any molasses sitting around like I always do, this is what rum is made from. You could even use coolade.

Get yourself a big pot fill it up with water and heat that bitch up. Start throwing in shit you think tastes good that has natural sugars not too many preservatives. It's pretty fucking simple. Syrup, molasses, coolade, sugar, dump it all in there. Make sure everything's dissolved and mixed up. Boil it real good, about 30minutes to a hour.

Let it cool down. If it's too hot it'll kill your yeast.

Fermenting

Fermenting is the step which yeast converts sugars to sweet sweet alcohol. For jail house style, get yourself a big empty soda bottle and a balloon. Once again make sure everything is clean or you'll get the shits. I've read about doing it this way, i'm lucky enough to have a fermenter so I don't do it like this. You want air to be able to escape, but no (dirty) air to get in. Fill the bottle up with your wash. If it's not luke-warm add some cold water, but make sure everything is mixed up.

Add a couple scoops of yeast. If you're lucky enough to have a grocery store that has brewers yeast, this is better. But, any yeast will work, it's just gunna taste like bread if you use bakers. Mix the yeast in there real good and stretch the balloon (empty of course) over the top.

Set the fermenter in a cool, dark place. Cover it with a towel if possible, but make sure the balloon isn't covered. Check it every few days. Depending on your mix it could take a week or just a couple days. When the balloon is inflated it's ready.

Aging

This is the process of killing off the excess yeast, removing the yeast that's already dead and bottling. Now that your drink is done fermenting, all that should be left is dead yeast and alcohol/wash.

Check your bottle/fermenter for anything moldy floating on the surface, if you see any greens or blacks, start over, you weren't clean enough. Also if you smell or taste anything rancid. Don't confuse the dead yeast with mold. It will be a brownish cloudy looking shit at the bottom, some may still be sitting on the top.

Careful while you handle it to avoid mixing dead yeast in again. It should all be sitting at the bottom. It's harmless but it doesn't taste good. Pour it out into another bottle or whatever you want to drink it out of. Just pour the top-ish liquids out, once again you don't want the dead yeast.

Cap the bottle and stick it in your fridge. This will kill off the rest of the yeast and help your drink taste just a little better.

After a week or so, as long as you want really, but I suggest waiting a day at least, it's ready to drink. So far this isn't illegal, it's if you want to increase the alcohol content is when it gets illegal. If you wish to do so (which you don't because it's illegal = \ ) continue on.

Distilling

This is where it get's a little more difficult. From what I've read, yeast dies once the alcohol content gets to 10%, and that's as high as it'll get. But what if you could separate the alcohol from the wash, as much as possible. This is called distilling.

This process is very tedious and it involves boiling, collecting the condensate, and repeating.

Here's the simplest way to go about it:

Get the big pot you made your wash in. You need a smaller bowl to float in the middle of the wash and a round bottom bowl that'll fit on the top. Fill the pot with your boozahol and set your floaty bowl in the middle of the wash. You can use a tripod or whatever ingenius way you can think of to keep the floaty right in the middle of the wash. Start the heat up and set the round bottom bowl on top of the pot. Fill the roundie bowl with ice and/or cold water. The wash will (should) heat up boil, condensate will collect on the round bowl that's sitting on top and drip down into the floaty bowl.

This is strong ass alcohol. Fill the floaty up and repeat the process as many times as you want. Each time it'll get a little stronger. Get up to 90%. Drink. Die from alcohol poisoning. No bad comments/ratings. I win.