Sometimes I wish I knew what was supposed to happen in a given situation. I'm sure we all do at times. I have an uncanny knack of screwing up most things. As my step dad so fondly put it, "You'd fuck up a wet dream." There's something to that. So if I had a script for life, I believe I could be a much better "actor". Of course, that is a double edge sword.

   If we all knew how things were going to turn out, life would be exceedingly boring. We would all just trudge along the path to our final destinations. We'd never have to screw up because we would know what our destination was. There would be none of those fantastic lessons we learn after screwing up big time. You know, the ones you only have to do once. There would be none of the little screw ups that we do repeatedly, hoping in vain for an alternative outcome. Yes it would be pretty boring.

   I am not the smartest cat in the house. So, I think I would probably still screw up. Deep down inside I like to screw up. Sometimes screwing up can be fun. Sometimes it can be very painful. Sometimes it just makes things hilarious. Sometimes it pisses people off to no end. One thing it does not produce is boredom. That's probably why I have a tendency to do it. I don't like boredom. I will admit that lately I've been better about keeping my "shoes shined" and it's a pretty good feeling. Sometimes I think, "It's time for a good fuck up." Things are going so well that the feeling passes rather quickly.

   There is still a thing or two in my life that I would love to see the crib notes on; I'd prefer to not mess those up. So if anyone finds those or just knows any answers, send them Doc G's way. Otherwise, I'll continue blindly enjoying the journey like the other sheep. I suppose, if we didn't take the journey, we wouldn't find out all the wonderful stuff about one another.

P.S. Since it is Christmas time, I'll share another one of my step dads pearls with you...this is in regards to how poor they were growing up "...if I didn't wake up with an erection on Christmas morning, I wouldn't have anything to play with all day..."  Nice, huh??