I'm voting Republican because I believe the earth is 6000 years despite scientific "facts".

I'm voting Republican because I'm rich.  But I loathe my job so much that I'd hate to see my money be wasted helping others.

I'm voting Republican because I'm poor.  But since I'm white, minorities scare me, and I base my vote on two issues (guns and god), I'm too narrow minded to support the group that would actually support my well being.

I'm voting Republican because I'd rather drill for oil domestically than invest in alternative fuels; that extra 1% output will keep gas at $3 a gallon for another six months.


I'm voting Republican because the terrorists we're fighting hate us for our freedoms; even if they claim it's because of our ties to Israel and all our bases in Saudi Arabia.


I'm voting Republican so more soldiers can die for our cause.  But I don't want to actually fight in the wars myself.  I will, however, invest in Military defense companies. Cha-ching!


I'm voting Republican because I understand it's best to ignore scientists and the rest of the world when it comes to Global Warming.  What do they know?

I'm voting Republican because America is too progressive.  I want to live in a country that falls behind in technology and economic competitiveness; solely relying on investment banks, UAE and China for financial sustenance.

I'm voting Republican because Elizabeth Hasselbeck is always right.  Fox News is always right.  Bill O'Reilly is always right.  And Family Circus is the funniest comic strip in the newspaper.

I'm voting Republican because if you get pregnant, you are obligated to have that child regardless of your situation.  But I'll be damned if I gotta pay taxes to take care of it.

I'm voting Republican because universal healthcare doesn't work.  Just ask Sweden, Norway, Finland, Canada, UK, Germany, Denmark, Netherlands, France, Japan, South Korea, -wait, WAIT! Don't ask them! They're just gonna lie to you like the Democrats!

I'm voting Republican because it's better to get royally screwd over in secret than right in front of the public.

Lastly, I'm voting Republican because I'm a hypocrite.