This is just a vent blog.  I'm not really looking for advice, sympathy, confirmation... or anything along those lines.   I just feel the need to write....  my boyfriend's at work, so I really don't have anyone to talk to right now.

I have more resumes out right now than I have food in the fridge.   Because rent, and all of my bills fell on the same week,  we have all of $300 for the next two weeks.  Had I not got a surprise $350 check from the government for HST, I wouldn't even have that. 

I've been working hard to gain my education.  I also see a career counselor... but neither is going to make the next few weeks any more easier.

I've pretty much completely quit smoking pot.  We don't buy it anymore.  Had some given to us last week... payment for watching over the bf's parent's house, while they were vacationing in California.  We were invited to go too, but couldn't afford it. 

Looking after someone's home... watering their pretty garden, walking their dog, dusting their furniture, were all little reminders of that I wish I had.   The long list of to-do's told me that they took a lot of pride from what they've accomplished.    I want that pride.  I want a home I can make my own. 

My life is better than it once was.. but it's still far from good.   There's so much uncertainty from each day to the next... it's really starting to take it's toll.   Both my boyfriend and I are looking for work... he has a job, now, but the company he works for is failing. 

We don't have a car... can't possibly own one right now... it limits what jobs we can apply for.  Our once booming industrial town is slowly but surely turning into a retirement area.  All of the major employers have shut their doors, or have made drastic cuts to production, and thus labor force.   The surrounding shops and restaurants that once catered to those employees, are all boarded up, with real estate signs in the windows.  Down the street their building yet another nursing home. 
It's like I live in a world that wasn't meant for me.  As if I should live off of my parent's good fortune until the smoke clears, and society starts focusing on the young people who are trying to start a life of their own.   I've done research on the demographics of my area....  our area has less young people and more old people than the National average.  Because of this, the government is going to focus on the aging baby boomers - the majority of the population. 

I've put a lot of focus on learning new skills and trying to improve my chances for success.  I like going into the shop I worked in this winter, to practice my welding, and take tests.  I'm really grateful that the company is willing to spend so much money on me.... I couldn't afford to get this training on my own.   Every time I go in there my former co-workers always seem concerned.  They ask me how I've been doing, whether I found any work, and tell me about places that are hiring.. even though they are all at least and hour and a half drive away.   I apply anyway.  I've spent over $200 this month on cab fare to interviews.  I haven't heard back, and when I do it's never good news.   Like I should, I ask the person why I didn't get the job... not enough experience.   I'm 22 years old... I've been working for 5 years... the amount of experience I have is what it is, and I can't change it.   I'm an easy to train person... there just isn't anyone around who's really willing to train, especially since so many qualified people are applying.  My career counselor has redone my resume, and has taught me about interview skills, and we've practiced them together.  I've made a lot of improvements in those aspects, but my enthusiasm and positive attitude isn't getting me much farther... I've gotten more interviews since that training, but neither job.

I really don't know what to do besides learn.  Get my education, gain more training and certificates.
But I can't wait for things to improve.  I need a job now - today.   And now that we're on the doorstep to another economic disaster... my chances are even thinner... I'm starting to lose hope.

This is a distraction.  I come to ebaums to escape my reality.  Focusing on the drama and bullshit this place provides, allows me to think about something besides where I'm at. 

I find it hard to watch TV.  To me it's like watching society decompose.   Showcasing the lives of the rich and stupid, or learning about all of the factors that are causing shit like environmental damage, economic collapse, political mishap, people losing the fight for their rights and survival.    It's depressing to say the least.

I really worry about where our society is headed.   I'm worried about my own future.