I hate jackassery in general and one place where I encounter jackasses is at the grocery story. The jackasses at the grocery store fall into two catagories: Inconsiderate Motherfuckers IM's) and Oblivious Fucks (OF's).

In the parking lot, I hate the OF's who walk mindlessly down the middle of the driving lane pushing their carts. It requires every ounce of my self-control to refrain from driving over them. Old people are the worse. They act as if they have all the time in the world. When I'm old and a few years from death I will move quicklly so as to get the most from my waning hours.

IM's will take up two parking spaces to avoid door dings. I guess they prefer key scratches. I don't key them but I've known people who do. Parking is hampered, too, by IM's who are too lazy to return their carts and leave them in a parking space. Today I moved a blocking cart that was literally 12 footsteps away from a cart return. I counted.

In the store there are the people who block an aisle with their cart and body while they look for an item. Please leave room for me to pass. I will push their cart out of the way with mine if they are particularly aggregious. If I see someone is interested in the same section of product I am I will ask them if I am blocking an item they need to grab. Simple consideration and awareness of one's surroundings.

THe IF's who bring their dogs into the grocery store will be shot when murder becomes legal. If it is a service dog OK but if you are a fat, sloppy bitch in your PJ bottoms and slippers (which I see often in Seattle) and the only way you can be like Paris Hilton is to carry an accessory dog, you must die.

Don't bring a full cart into the express checkout. I will call you out on it and everyone else in line will support me. If you have 17 in a 15-or-less I will give you a pass. Then, don't write a check, it's the 21st century. If you DO write one, please have it filled out as much as possible until the total is rung up. If you pay with cash or card, don't root in your purse for your wallet at the last minute. Old paople, don't dig for exact change. Your fingers aren't that nimble.

"But I want to get rid of these pennies," explains Mildred.

I won't go into the welfare mothers with a batch of misbehaving kids. That's another blog.

Jesus CHRIST, I hate OF's and IM's. They are everywhere. I will go take my blood pressure meds now.