If you’re reading this right now you probably shouldn’t be voting. That being said, vote for this asshole:

His name is Keith Stone. Keith Stone is the coolest dude since Joe Camel. I would vote for him, but I’m a two-time felon.

(Pictured Above: Me.) 

Keith's platform rules. Shark Week every week? Awesome. The Discovery Channel will have to change its name to the Shark Channel.

In conclusion, don't vote with your head - vote with your stones. Vote for Keith Stone.