Some male co-workers and I were trading stories of times we were sure we were about to get laid but the girls ended up not putting out. We werent including the times we ended up puking on their dresses or were too lame to close the deal. We were talking every signal was all-systems-go and the chicks flaked out on us.

I mentioned the time that I met this hot Asian chick on a chat line. We had gone out once and she seemed a little nutso but she was hot so it could be overlooked. Hmmm a hot chick using a telephone chat line? I should have known that there was something wrong with her.

She called me one day and said she found a recipe for a love potion and asked if she could come over and cook it with me. Any guy reading this understands why I thought I would be navigating my junk through Asian waters.

We met up, bought the ingredients for the love potion and went to my place to concoct it. As the brew was simmering (I think it had cinnamon, cloves, and some other shit in it) she hopped on my computer to check her email. I began to give her a back rub, the universal request for sex.

She casually said, You know we arent having sex, right? WTF???

There was another time with a decidedly less hot chick, where sex seemed guaranteed. I had wined and dined this women (after driving 75 miles to her fucking town) and was invited to her place for drinks. Sounds good right? We made out and it was late so she invited me to stay the night. Sounds good, right? We stripped to our underwear and climbed into bed. Bow-chick-a-bow-bow, right? NO! She was absolutely unresponsive when I tried to close the deal. In the morning she explained that it was a test she uses on guys to see if they are really interested in her.

I dont advocate date rape but cmon ladies

It turns out that all 3 of us co-workers had, at one time at another, been in a situation in which we were IN BED with a lady who refused to put out.

Can any of you females out there explain why you would be so fucking cruel? Fucking Christ! I have a love potion for you; I call it Roofies!