A couple years ago I decided to send a text out of the blue to an ex-coworker. I had a little crush on her when I worked with her but I have this disease. It affects my balls and the symptoms are:

I am attracted to a female. I want to flirt, talk or even get a phone number. I tell myself to just gather the balls to do it. My balls seem to go missing at that point. I seldom have balls enough to just do it.

I think this stems from repeated rejections when I was younger. There were a few occasions where I could read all the signals and could just TELL the chick was liking me. I would call on my balls and they would actually peek out. "You do the work and we'll back you up." they would tell me. I would make a move and ask for a phone number or if I was actually on a date, put my arm around the girl.

On almost every one of these occasions it turnad out that I had totally misread the signals. If the signals were instructions for mac and cheese I'd have ended up with a bowl of oatmeal.

So I sent a text to this woman because one doesn't need balls to text someone. I received a favorable response. We went out. We went out again. We messed around and she really liked me. I had just been cassually screwing various women for a few years but I began to fall for her.

It may have been because unlike many of the internet chicks I had dated, she weighed less than I did. That may have been it but I think it was because I discovered she had a Magic Vagina. (to be continued)