So I was making myself some toast in the shower today. All of the sudden, my nose started bleeding. I thought, "What the hell?" I jumped out, dried off, combed my pubes, and stuck some toilet paper in my nostrils. Tragedy averted.

I finished getting ready and plopped myself on the couch. I flipped on the television and watched a little Sanford and Son. After an exhausting three episodes, I decided I needed a break.

So, I got out of my stuffy sweatpants, threw on something a little more comfortable, and proceeded to take a nap. I awoke 3 hours later and remebered I left my toast cooking in the shower. I ran in, popped the toatser up, and it was burnt...as well as soggy because I left the shower going. Well that clinched it. My day was done. I climbed back in bed just as a marathon of Bewitched was coming on. Maybe the day isn't completely lost...