(NOTE: II IS THE ROMAN NUMERAL FOR 2)

SO I'M GOING UP THE STAIRS OF THE WATERSLIDE (WHY THE FUCK DON'T THE PUT AN ELEVATOR ON THOSE GODDAM THINGS???)  AND I SEE A HUGE ASS LINE WAITING.  BEING HUMBLE AS FUCK I USE MY WRECKING BALL GUT TO KNOCK PEOPLE ASIDE CAUSE GUYS LIKE ME TO HAVE TO FUCKIN WAIT IN LINE!  AFTER ABOUT 45 MINUTES OF KNOCKING PEOPLE OVER RAILINGS AND CLIMBING STAIRS (HAD TO CATCH MY BREATH AFTER EVERY FEW STEPS) I WAS FINALLY AT THE TOP! 

THE LIFE GUARD THERE TOLD ME TO WAIT TIL THE KID INFRONT OF ME WAS AT THE BOTTOM AND OFF THE SLIDE BUT I DON'T FUCKIN WAIT FOR NOBODY!  SO HERE I AM ZOOMING DOWN THE SLIDE AT MACH 3 WHEN I REACH THE BOTTOM OF THE SLIDE, I HEAR A KIDS VOICE SCREAM "OH SHI-" I FLY PAST THE POOL AT THE BOTTOM OF THE SLIDE, SLAM THROUGH THE FENCE AND SKID ALL THE WAT TO SECTIN K OF THE PARKING LOT! I STAMD UP TO REALISE THE STUPID ASS KID DIDN'T GET OFF THE SLIDE FAST ENOUGH AND NOW HALF OF HIM IS STUCK UP MY ASS!

I MUST ADMIT IT KIDA FELT GOOD--I MEAN--I YANK THAT LITTLE BASTARD OUT OF MY ASS AND BEAT THE CRAP OUT OF HIM!  LUCKILY MY FAT GUY SCOOTER WAS NEAR BY TO I PUTTED BACK TO THE FRONT ENTRANCE.  THE ASSHOLE WANTED TO CHARGE ME ADMISSION AGAIN!  I'M LIKE "HEY BUDDY DO YOU SEE A WALLET IN THESE SPEEDOS?"  HES LIKE "NO, AND I DON'T EVEN SEE THE SPEEDOS"

KNOWING HE WAS JUST JEALOUS OF MY PHYSIQUE, I JUSTBLECHED IN HIS FACE AND SCOOTERED HOME WHILE ALL THE GIRLS WERE DROOLING OVER ME...FOR SOME REASON THE DROOL LOOKED LIKE VOMIT