I WAS SITTING AT THE PARK ENJOYING MY LUNCH WHEN WALLBOY WALKS PAST ME.  "HEY I KNOW YOU!", HE SAID, "YOU THAT FAT FUCK FROM EBAUMS!"  CAN I HAVE A SLICE OF YOUR PIZZA?  YOU GOT 47 EXTRA LARGES, WON'T MISS ONE SLICE;  RIGHT TUBBY?"

THATS WHEN I GOT MAD.  LARD_INFAMOUS DOESN'T SHARE FOOD!!!!!!!

I GOT UP AND CLAPPED MY ARM FOLDS OVER HIS HEAD!  HE FELL DOWN STUNNED FOR A MOMMENT, BUT JUMPED TO HIS FEET, GRABBED ONE OF MY SLICES AND RAN LIKE HELL.  I KNEW WHAT I HAD TO DO TO CHASE HIM DOWN.  I PUT MY LEGS UP OVER MY HEAD AND STARTED ROLLING AFTER HIM LIKE THE BOULDER AFTER INDIANA JONES.    I FELT SOMETHING CRUSH BENEATH ME, SO I STOPPED.  I THOUGHT IT WAS HIM, BUT IT WAS SOME LITTLE BASTARD KID.  THATS WHEN SOME CRAZY WOMAN STARTED SCREAMING "MY BABY!  YOU KILLED MY BABY!"  I GOT SICK OF HEARING HER GUMS FLAP, SO I SWALLOWED THE BITCH WHOLE!  I CONTINUED TO ROLL AROUND THE PARK LOOKING FOR WALLBOY, BUT HE GOT AWAY

THIS ISN'T OVER WALLBOY!  I WILL FIND YOU;  AND WHEN I DO I WILL SIT ON YOU AND REALEASE THE UNHOLIEST OF FARTS!!!!

YOU'VE BEEN WARNED!!!!!!!!!!