The guests checking in to the resort tonight probably thought I was crazy or going deaf as I loudly informed them of their accommodations, while filling in any silence with the idlest of idle chit chat until they left the lobby.  Perhaps they figured out what I was trying to accomplish, as I failed to drown out the rantings and boo-hooing of the assistant general manager, a few feet away with her office door open.  She was on the phone with members of her extended family as they apparently traded off the receiver to make false accusations and give her a verbal gang beat-down.

Let me just say that I love her dearly, and am so grateful that she hired me in this shitty economy.  That being said, tonight I saw some of the most unprofessional behavior I'd ever seen from a superior of mine, and I can't help but lose some respect for her.  She was on the phone for an hour to an hour and a half, wailing things like "You don't even know me if you believe I'd say something like that!" and "What kind of sister would I be if I'd say that?  I've always been so supportive of you!  Paul just has something against me!  How can you say that you don't believe me, and my tears aren't real?  Do you know how sick I've been for the past 6 months?"  Blah blah blah, wah wah wah. 

It got me to thinking about all the jobs I've had in the past, and the downright childish behavior I've seen from my bosses at times.  It's actually how I, along with many others, came to the cold realization that adults do act like high-schoolers for the rest of their lives.  They gossip, cheat, place blame and shirk their responsibilities.  Instead of getting bitter about it, I came up with a pretty amusing list of similar events in my life, listed in chronological order.


Burger King (My 1st Job)

-Assistant Manager creates fake voided transactions, so he can use the "refunded" money to pay for a pizza.  Does this several times before finally getting busted.

-Shift Supervisor pulls me from the kitchen after I told her I knew the lyrics to "Patience" by Guns 'n' Roses.  She had me write them down for her, because her internet boyfriend in Florida (who she was cheating on her husband with) told her it reminded him of their relationship, and she'd never heard the song before.   Spends the rest of her shift in the cash office, all glassy-eyed and smiling at the words I'd written in grease pencil on a Whopper wrapper.

-Find the manager getting head in his car from the pretty new Brazilian girl.  Now I know why she got promoted to kitchen manager so quickly, despite the fact that she barely speaks English.

-Assistant manager hucks a screw driver, nearly hitting the supervisor, and leaving a huge dent in the walk-in freezer door.



Bradlees

-Assistant manager calls on her day off.  Has me walk her through the second boss fight in "Ocarina of Time", despite me telling her I had a long line at my register.  Got the most annoyed look from the people waiting, as I tried to do my job, and simultaneously explain "No, you wait until he rolls around the lava pit and opens his mouth.  Before he starts breathing fire, throw a bomb into his mouth, and then hit him with the sword...Did you get it?  No?  Okay, try it again...."

-As we're going out of business, I get promoted to the service desk, so I can tell irate customers their gift cards are no longer valid, and we're not accepting returns.  All managers hide in their office and stop responding to their loudspeaker pages.  Everyone not receiving a severance package is left to do the dirty work.



Answering Service

-Frequently catch supervisor looking at porn on his computer.

-Owner blasts 80's corporate sellout music in his office.  Ignores the fact it's incredibly distracting to his own employees trying to handle calls, and often makes it impossible to hear the person on the other line.



Deli

-Manager gets caught cheating when his suspicious wife comes in with their 6 year old daughter in tow to check up on him.  She is told he is not at work, and is never on that particular shift, unlike what he'd been telling his family.  Manager blows up at employees the next time he is in, saying we were supposed to be his friends, and that we ratted him out.



Small Contracting Business

-Boss tells me he will handle the bill payments from now on.  Lets unopened envelopes pile up for several weeks before finally plopping them down on my desk and telling me he wants me to handle them again.  Angrily demands to know why there's so many late fees the next month.

-See game screens on boss' computer far more than anything work related.  I'd say about 95 times out of 100 this happens, and the other 5 times are just for appearances.  Meanwhile, his work is piling up on his desk.  I know when the stacks are about to tip, they'll suddenly wind up on my desk.  I've come to find that people aren't into hiring companies that they've waited for four months to get an estimate from.

-Boss frequently pilfers food I brought from home and keep in my desk.  He doesn't ask, I just notice my stash is light and see the wrappers in his trash can.



Resort

-General manager frequently ducks out over an hour early when she hears even a slight rumor that an unhappy guest wishes to speak with her.

-The event that inspired this entry.



**I've got to give an honorable mention to something that didn't happen to me, but my friend Bob when he worked at a Boston deli back in the 60's.  His boss realized about an hour before it was due to be picked up that he had a large order intended to be served at a wedding reception.  In a panic, he had Bob help him grab all the jars of potato salad off the shelf and scoop them out into a huge bowl.  Not only were they all way out of date, but as his boss used the dull edge of a knife to scrape the last bit out, the glass jar shattered in his hand, and fell into the twenty pounds of potato salad they'd managed to muster.  Bob was shocked as he heard his boss mutter "Okay, help me pick out the big pieces."