If any of you have read my last blog, you would've read about my being pregnant. It was a huge shock to me, but shortly after, I was extremely excited. It's strange how your mind changes so much so quickly. You get everything planned out, you start thinking of names, then you start daydreaming about all the things you're going to do with the kid, etc etc.

Well, long story short, I lost it. I'd explain everything but I'm not really in the mood to write right now. I had to tell everyone immediatly that it happened (actually I found this out on Wednesday) before everyone asked how I was feeling, if I found out how far along I am, and talks about how excited they are for me. I've never been so depressed.

My doctor told me that I was three months along, and the baby had died about 3 weeks ago (they were able to tell through the ultrasound). All the tests they've done on me came back as if I was perfectly healthy, so I'm not sure what went wrong. I had a choice to miscarry naturally or get a DNC (pretty much an abortion). I chose the DNC. I couldn't imagine going through with it naturally. The pain wasn't any worries at the time, but just having to see everything and knowing that it's my child.

I had the surgery done yesterday morning. They gave me pills that I had to take (vaginally too...isn't that sick and just plain messed up?) which gave me extreme cramping. Definitely one of the worst pains I've ever felt.

Anyways, today I feel 10 times worse than I did yesterday. My whole body is in pain and all I've been doing is laying down...which I probably should be doing anyways.

I'm starting to ramble. They gave me some Darvacets to ease my pain and luckily it's working for the most part. I'll explain everything another day when I'm feeling a little better and I can actually think.