Twas the night of Thanksgiving and out of  the house

 Tiger Woods came a flyin', chased by his  spouse.

 She wielded a nine iron and wasn't too  merry,

 Cause a bimbos phone number was  in his Blackberry.

  Hed been cheatin' on Elin, and the  story progressed.

 Woman after woman stepped up  and confessed.

 Hed been cheatin with Holly, and Jaimee, and  Cori,

 With Joselyn, and Kalika. The world had the  story.

 From the top of the Tour to the  basement of blues,

Tigers sad sordid tale was all over the  news.

With hostesses, waitresses, he had lots of  sex,

 When not in their pants, he  was sendin' them texts.

 Despite all his cryin and beggin' and  pleadin',

 Tigers wife went investin' -- a new home  in Sweden .

 And I heard her exclaim from her white  Escalade,

 "If youre gettin' laid then I'm gettin'  paid."

 She's not pouting, in fact, she is of  jolly good cheer,

 Her prenup made Christmas come early this  year....