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So here I sit, at another random bar, hoping to find the couple that will get me through another month of scraping by. Lots of different folks here, a range of ages, and body types.

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The best sellers are always the young, slim, attractive couples that can be seen clearly. Obviously in my profession, a blurry or obscured view of even the most gorgeous person, doesn't sell for shit, so I would rather get a nice clear voyeur vid of a less attractive couple, because let's face it, no one wants to wank it to a blurry, plant blocked, dark vid of good looking people they can't see.

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The first couple that hooked up was fantastic, and I knew they would turn out to be too good to be true, and so the case was. I followed them to a nearby Hotel, of course as is my luck, all the windows and curtains were closed.

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Back to the bar to scout some more. Another couple, who look to young to even drink head off to do what most people are here for, atleast I am hoping. I follow them to a park. Awesome! Parks and other public places are always best to secretly video tape people in the throws of passion. I am very excited and get my camera ready as I start to walk from my car half a block away. To my horror, a police cruiser pulls up behind the parked station wagon and flashes it's light. I quickly hide my camera and curse my way back to my car and it's back to the bar again, damnit.

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So here we are, the bar has thinned out. I spot an older couple flirting and talking and seeming equally nervous. The guy, decently built for a guy in his 40's seemed to flexing his muscles a bit too much while the woman glances around for other possibilities should this one fizzle out. they seem made for each other.

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No other couple in the bar seems ready to take off and give me what I need so I decide to follow this couple out of the bar, after he leans in to whisper something, and she almost trips over the table while getting up a bit too eagerly.

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Well, this will hopefully be better than nothing, and maybe I will get lucky and they will involve some food. Or ooooh! maybe an animal! That would sell great!

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I follow them just down the block to a shabby condominium complex called "Foxy Acres". Wow, talk about a retirement village for those who won't admit to being old...

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Luckily his "condo" is in the back of the building with windows on the bottom floor and no real draperies to obscure my view into his tiny master bedroom. My years as a surveilance specialist has treated me well in my new occupation regardless of how shitty it makes me feel, atleast I am good at it.

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Camera in hand, lighting is decent, and the action starts... well I guess it is action... after an hour of waiting and uncomfortable mixing of drinks and small talk they finally make their way to his little room of lust. Immediately she rejects his advances and shuffles off to the bathroom. It is hard to hear everything perfectly, but I did recall him saying something about having all night... oh great... I would rather they be fueled by passion and in a hurry... but no... slow and steady and old they are... *sigh*

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I settle a little deeper into the bushes and rest against the gas meter, I am going to be here awhile it seems. The old man pops some pills, most likely heart or blood pressure related, and drinks an entire glass of water before hopping into bed and waiting under the covers for the lady to come back out. She finally comes out and they start with an exciting missionary position that almost makes me fall asleep.

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They both seem uncomfortable. His legs are not in rhythm and she seems to want him to change to an even more boring position. A few minutes later and she turns him over so she can be on top. It seems to treat her aching bones better and he seems to enjoy the relief as well... but even that doesn't last long as she falls in bed next to him and actually says something along the lines of "Hey finish us up big guy". Are you kidding me? How cliche this is all becoming. I almost consider just stopping and calling it a night but goddamnit I need my rent paid, and the end of the month is approaching fast. Come on guys, do something crazy so I can get a good check.

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He jumps back on top of her and presses her legs up to her chest, blocking my shot of her tits slowing moving back and forth... great, I can't get a good clear decent shot to save my life. Then there was a sound, not sure which of them had a bone pop or a hip break, but they both look at each other worriedly, right before she smiles awkwardly and tries to pass off some recreational sports as an excuse... come on... i mean really COME ON!

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The night was an official heap of shit when 13 seconds later he jumps off her yelling "Cramp Cramp!" just as I am closing the screen to my HD camcorder with nightvision. A complete waste.

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Remind me not to follow any more old people home the bar anymore, I am sticking to the young, verile, strong adults who can keep it together long enough for me to get paid.

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