Hey guys, this is SephirothSaiyin64 reporting for duty. This is a review I wrote for the Olympics Opening Ceremony for my summer school class.


So this is what it basically looked like. Lots of people, and lights. For some reason everyone was losing their shit over all the pretty colors, and dancing. As if they’ve never been to a rave before. Also, judging from that speech I have a feeling the Queen was on quailudes.

Then they announced every country participating in the games. Did you know that more than three countries exist on this planet? I was like, “what the fuck, where did these countries that are not Mexico or Canada come from?” Then I fell asleep.

There was also some weird tribute to this David Bowie guy. I think he was the King of England for a while. I’m pretty sure he was also the guy Harry Potter was based off of.

 All in all, I was bored out of my mind and am pretty sure I hate England now. Maybe next year, less countries should be allowed to participate and all viewers should be provided free psychadellic drugs. Thanks for nothing, losers.

 In conclusion, this review deserves at least a C, and then I won’t have to repeat the 12th grade.