awhile back i blogged about a crazy girl that my cousin is humping that like to pour mustard on his junk before she blows him. the girl is completely out of her mind. evertime he brings her over to spend the night, i lock my door. if this chick has a psychotic break in the middle of the night, i see no reason why i should risk getting my goodie bag cut off with a butcher knife in my sleep.

anyway, my cousin left town to visit family for a few days and didnt return any of this girls phone calls, all 70 of them. finally, today she called him in a panic.

cousin: hey whats up?

crazy chick: i just overdosed on laxatives!

cousin: huh?

crazy chick: its an emergency! i need your help, im gonna shit myself to death!

cousin: i gotta go...

crazy chick: wait!!!...click...

apparently he says hes not gonna talk to her anymore