Well I just got home not to long ago was out with some friends. I wrote a poem for a friend of mine that I put in a christmas card. I think there is some background that is needed to get it. You see earlier this year this friend of mine blurted out something quite stupid while playing a video game. I believe it was "Damnit, I am gonna fuck that guy straight!" Now needless to say me and our other friends could not let this saying slip. Nope we would bring it up at times that embarassed the hell out of him. It is what friends are for after all. Of course the obvious problem with that statement is the fact that my friend being a guy, can not indeed fuck another man straight. So I decided to put my writing skills to good use (I was also bored as I waited for him to get out of work so we could go party.) So below is the poem I wrote for him. If you don't shed a tear then you are dead inside!  

You can't fuck a man straight

You can't fuck a midget taller.

You can't fuck a watchmaker late.

And you can't fuck a poor man a dollar.

You can't fuck a turkey, though some may have tried.

You can't fuck a bull, at least not while untied.

Now remember these words, dirty but wise.

That all they say, are but lies.

Imagine a world where all could be fucked.

Except tranny prostitutes who can't remember to stay tucked.

Life would be much easier, of that there is no doubt

There would be no famine, no war, no hatred, no drought

All would love, and all would be great.

But for now they still say...

You can't fuck another man straight.

Well I think that wraps up 2008 quite well. Can't wait to see what more dumb shit my friends are going to say next year. Maybe I'll write a novel for whatever it is and get published world wide, now that is one way to embarass the hell out of them.