It could have started out any other way and it would have still ended the same. Now the best part about a evening is being able to recall it the next. Insomnia striking in, I was determined to do something with the time that was more constructive than my usual methods.

It all started yesterday afternoon with my friend calling me saying she needed a jump...not a problem. Not a fucking problem at all. It may have been cold outside but that was nothing compared to the frozen lump that was my heart towards the one girl that would just not let it be. It is hard to go any further without giving a background, which is just not allowed for the time being.

So after the car was jumped, and everything was semi-good to go with the newly regenerated automobile, I was volun-told to attend the Christmas festivities. Good, groovy, great, you want a transition you have got one you crazy monkey man you. I went to a hole in the wall of a town, with a hole in the wall police/security force that was not quite prepared for my wretched and self destructive behavior. Getting thru the security and into the exclusive sub division was topped with a "fuckface" aimed towards the un-armed guard. Fucking pigs, they think that just because they have a little piece of heaven that they are supreme cock in the land...well that is just grossly inaccurate. Picking up the guilty parties after dealing with a horny pit bull in the hallway, we journeyed on to the Ark Bar, a place where Noah was known to hang out from time to time playing shuffleboard. Jerry had beat him once or twice, but Noah was good at knocking down your rollers.

"Hey barkeep, something sparkly is something that I would much relish at this point. Can you believe the way the weather has turned around so fast? Fucking crazy I know. Listen if I could also get the check when I get my meal that would be the greatest thing that has happened in the last 2 and a half hours." I muttered to the barkeep. He went back to the kitchen, and placed my order for bacon, cheese, bread, and a patty. The choice of any right minded individual. So good, you have to eat it to the last drop. "Used the last three slices of bacon for your hamburger." The barkeep said, slamming down my plastic basket.

"Good, that bastard Vladimar has lost this fucking round. Told him to stay put in Stalingrad for a while to long." The bartender looked confused at that point. Dont you know your not supposed to wrinkle your forehead, it brings on signs of aging. Dont want something like that when you try to pick up the homecoming queen next year. Fuck this place, the food sucks, the service is parallel to my hamburger. I am going to OMalleys next door cock-in-balls man. Good night, and hope you have a shitty new years. I said as I knocked over a few tables in a crazed stupor towards the door. The night air wsked across my face, instantly absorbing me into the cold and lifeless bosum of mother nature during winter time. Winter time is when mother nature decides to have her period. The rest of the year is great and positive, but when that maxi pad is pulled out of the special compartment in the bathroomwelloh shit watch the fuck out!

OMalleys had a lively crowd. If you call a funeral parlor convention lively. The prettiest girl in the whole place resembled a mole. All not fear, for the 3rd horseman of the apocalypse got lost, he misplaced his GPS and is millions of miles off course!

Nobody batted an eye lash at our direction. They sensed that whatever sense we had possessed was long ago lost. We took a pool table, and begin to create and scheme all kinds of distractions and tricks to amuse ourselves in the smoky room.

We relived the glory days of yester years, brought on by the timeless classics of AC/DC that hummed throughout the establishment coming from a digital jukebox. Whatever happened to the record ones, that was half the fun seeing the mechanical arm grabbing your selection and serving you as though he was a monkey slave attached by a chain to your waist.

I cant say anything remarkable that will make you want to visit any of the places, the only comfort I can give you is that the cops in this bumble fucking Egypt town did not pull me over when I was speeding. Maybe they sensed the urgency in my turn signal as I merged into the left lane. As I barreled down 281, I was reminded of just how lucky I am to have shot up the place in my own style of metaphorical bullets. May something interesting happen while I am there would not kill me, but then maybe it would. One can only hope that you dont scratch.