Forwarded by my friends in Texas:

Condcord, NH In an apparent effort to be noticed by the media in the heated run up to the Republican primaries, presidential candidate Ron Paul punched a pregnant woman in the abdomen while hurling vicious racial epithets. Paul was reportedly speaking to a crowd of about seven people in New Hampshire on the importance of sound monetary policy when he leapt from the stage and delivered a textbook left-handed hook to a pregnant womans gallbladder and shouted, "you damn chinamen took all our railroad jobs!" The woman was Hispanic.

According to witnesses, Paul continued to wail away on the pregnant woman for almost an hour, punching her repeatedly and at one point delivering a roundhouse kick to the side of her head. During the assault, the Congressman from Texas called the woman a "goddamn Philippina boxspring hog" and also conducted logical, and pragmatic discourse on the reasons for eliminating the capital gains tax.

"You fucking negro Japs!" Paul was heard to scream as he pummeled the woman and her unborn child. The federal governments power is limited explicitly by the constitution! Paul yelled while piledriving the womans head into a nearby stack of bibles made from cement. "The Fed simply prints money to enable reckless spending, you Jewish frog!"

Paul claimed 85% of the vote in a FoxNews poll conducted immediately after the assault.