This year's gifts were great like most years. My GF bought me an EXPENSIVE kitchen knife. Most of our knives wouldn't cut an 80-year-old hooker but I effortlessly minced an onion with the new one and I almost jizzed in my pants. The knife slid in easier than...well..my penis into an 80-year-old hooker. 

She also got me a DVD collection of the Eddie Murphy claymation series, The P.J.s. As far as I knew it had never cme out on DVD so I was stoked. It turns out it is a bootleg copy, produced in Costa Rica. It was recorded from TV and has the TV rating symbol as well as a network logo but it is watchable. One of the best animated comedy series of the past decade, in my opinion.

The best gift I received, however, was from my son't half-brother. It is a poop diary. You keep it handy when you poop and 'log' details like how stinky it was, how hard you had to strain, how many wipes, etc. On the facing page you mark the date, time, duration, any interesting features, and may then draw a sketch of the dookie in a special box. You are even asked to NAME the deuce! 

I have stated before that reading while I drop nug is my second favorite activity and I shit a lot. I average 3 times a day. (Normal is 3 per week to 3 per day, according to the "Duke-tionary")

I have asked a doctor if there is something wrong with me as I sometimes go 7 times in a day, no SHIT. (well, there's shit but no B.S.) They did some tests and told me I am fine.  

My christmas was good. Eve was spent with my druken, fun, wonderful family and Day was with my GF's not drunk, yet still fun and wonderful family. I cooked them a prime rib as big as a couch. I ate a lot. This morning I had the watery beef squirts. I named it, "Ahhh Jus."