I went canoeing last weekend on the Little Big Econ river in sunny Florida.  It was pretty normal, seeing alligators and bald eagles all over the place, but one animal was new.  While looking around the cow fields that border the river (I just love the smell of cow patties), I came across a fawn, stuck in muck up to its neck.  I didn't touch it, and stayed a few yards away and smoked a bowl for about 20 minutes.  It didn't make a sound the whole time either, so I assumed the mother had died or something.  The little Bambi tyke looked weak and stuck, so (sexy alert!) I took my shirt off and wrapped him up in it. 

       My buddy and I put Bambo (we considered him a guy like us, and Bambi is just a little too whimpy, so we named him Bambo)  into the canoe with us.  We figured we'd drop him off at the next ranger station we came by.  We're about 1/4 mile from the station when we round a bend and a 7-8 ft. gator slips into the water.  About 10 seconds later Bambo jumps out like a dumbass.  I wasn't about to stick my hand in the water to get this tantalizing piece of gator bait, so I waited for it to get stuck on the bank where there was a sheer sand cliff.  We picked it up again, lucky to be alive, and headed for the ranger station.

       We got to the station, and five guys in uniform are working, and they all tell us the same thing.  They had seen the mother dead on a road nearby, and there was nothing they could do.  They weren't authorized to do anything with Bambo the Fawn.  They gave us a number of an animal rescue place that wasn't open when we called because they're closed on weekends.

       So, we leave and head back to the canoe and decide to pitch camp right there.  We decide to just let the little guy go and fend for himself (y'know, let nature kill it for us.)  My buddy walks away about 1/4 mile in the woods and puts Bambo down and shoos it away.  When he came back to the camp, Bambo was right on his heels like it was his dog.  We were conflicted, because we really liked this fawn, but we didn't want to get caught with a baby deer on a leash tied to a tree.  So, we ended up getting wasted on shitty whisky and trying to feed a fawn milk and various food items all night.

       When we woke up, the little guy was gone.  I like to think he made it, and is nice and healthy now.  But, I know better.  RIP Bambo