I have not written in a very long time and i think there are only two or maybe three people left who know who I am, but that is not important.

Anyway, I am writing this to request that anyone who likes to get high on bath salts, could you please make sure you are are not a 300 pound hairy male?  And please do not remove your clothes, stand in the front window of your home and rub your nipples on the window for all your neighbors to see.  And when we the police arrive on scene, please try and remember we do not want to be in your home just as much as you do not want us in your home, and yelling "Fuck me up the ass gay boy," is not going to make us leave any faster.  Sorry, it just is not going to happen.  Even puking all over yourself and flinging it at us is not going to make us leave either.  I will say we surely would rather be watching football on tv and eating Thanksgiving dinner with our families, but having a huge hairy creature scream obscenities and fling puke at me is a great substitute for quality family time on a holiday.  Thank you, you big fat hairy waste of a human.

Happy Thanksgiving.