I own the geekiest pair of men's shoes on Earth.  Here they are:  (http://www.ebaumsworld.com/pictures/view/81097854/).  I originally bought them six months ago to embarrass my wife. The brand name is Vibram. They have several shoes in a similar vein that are designed for running, trail running, hiking, and bouldering. The one thing they have in common is they have toes. Toes. On the shoes.

The shoes fit your feet like a glove. Literally. You put each toe in a little pouch like fingers on a glove. They're made out of leather that is less than a millimeter thick and has a hard, flexible rubber sole that is only a few millimeters thick. When the shoes start to smell, you wash them in the washing machine on gentle or hand wash and let them air dry over night. I assumed that the shoes were not going to be actual leather due to my assumption that a soft, suede-like leather shoe would be destroyed in the washing machine. It was also labelled as kangaroo leather which I assumed was fake leather like nagahide. Nope. It's leather from real live, dead kangaroos. It just doesn't get ruined when you wash it. In fact, they were more comfortable after their first washing than before.

My plan to embrass my wife back fired. I REALLY like the shoes. It really is just like being barefoot without the worry of injuring or burning your feet on the ground. What's more, she doesn't mind them that much. She says they're less embarrassing than the Birkenstocks I usually wear. I had a surgery go bad on my foot and shoes that restrain my foot are very painful now. I gave up on footwear fashion years ago. It's all about comfort to me now. If it was most comfortable, I would stick my feet up two chicken's asses and was around with chicken moccasans. I don't give a fuck what people think.

One problem is I seem to get a lot of attention with them. I was waiting in the orthopedic surgeon's waiting room while my wife was getting worked on. This is where you'd to if you need a prosthetic limb and live in Vegas, so there were a lot of faux limbs in the waiting room. A nice old lady (reallllll-y old) looked down at my feet and said "oh, my... what happened to you?" I had a morbid twinge where I was tempted to bullshit the old lady about shark attacks or frost bite, but it was so cute that the biddy thought I'd had a double foot amputation that I had to come clean.

I do, however, tell people that they're prosthetics when I get asked about them now. Sorry, I'm an asshole and people amuse me.