What do you do when someone you love is going to leave for a year? And not for a semester abroad, but to a combat zone? So that means the whole oooh, I can come visit you has to be scratched. And he also wont be eating our fav foods all day and enjoying the nights nightlife , our funny, quiet, lazy and romantic momentsnah, his daily activities will be a little more life threatening. 

Hes going to be leaving towards the end of september. But I have known he was going to leave for some time now. When do you officially stop living day-today life, and start mentally and emotionally preparing for him to leave, by doing things that celebrate his leaving, like having a last meal there and the last time going there? 

It is extremely frustrating to me that when I tell some people that my boyfriend is in the military, something akin to pity crosses their faces. When they ask, will he be going to Iraq/Afghanistan? I try to hide my contra-pity for their naivety. The ignorance that so many people still have about the U.S. military and the current situation is shockingbut I have to admit, I used to be just as naïve. I respond with as much restraint as possible, that it is pretty difficult to find someone in the military nowadays that wont be rotating over to the Middle East or Afghanistan sooner or later. 

Then comes the question: A whole year? How are you going to handle that? Good questionbut it gives me great comfort that hundreds of thousands of mothers, fathers, sisters, brothers, wives, girlfriends, boyfriends, daughters, and sons, etc. have handled it before me. And why would anyone suggest that I couldnt be as strong as them? 

Even more affronting are those who ask: Are you going to wait for him? I mean, I almost have to laugh at that. Granted, we arent married, so we have nothing contractually binding us to stay together. So, in one way the question is founded, but in another way, it reflects a lot about those who ask the question. It doesnt make sense to me, why someone would think it okay to break off a perfectly functioning relationship (sometimes not perfect at all..hey we all are humans ), just because one of the partners was going away for a set time. Basically it reduces the concept of a relationship to something based on physical presence, instead of something encompassing so much more. Also, my boyfriend is going away to perform life-threatening duties for the benefit of others. You can agree or disagree with the US involvement in Afghanistan or Iraq, but you cannot disagree with the self-sacrifice of the US soldier. How can anyone think I would want to break off a relationship with someone like that? 

There are daily reminders now of his impending departure. The last-minute bureaucratic things he needs to tie up before leaving, the ever-growing pile of military issued gear in his house that he will be taking, and one of us starting or ending a sentence with: when you are/I am in Afghanistan or get back from Afghanistan. I have to fight my inner puppy, who wants to mope around with my tail between my legs, while he prepares. I have to respect the fact, that his position is a hundred times harder than mine. I am just losing him from my daily lifehe is basically losing his daily life. Well, not losing it. He is trading it. Trading the freedom in of movement of being able to jump into his car and drive anywhere he wants for the restriction of life on a base, trading his own house including his bed and bathroom for a shared tent and communal facilities, trading home cooking for chow hall cuisine, and the list goes on. He is trading all this to do the job he has been training for. So, even though I may want to wallow about how much I am going to miss him, I dont have the heart to. It would be extremely self-centeredokay, I lieon occasion I wallow like a pig, but I keep it short. (like i been doing since 7pm last night)

To my surprise, I am also somewhat excited about him going to Afghanistan. I look forward to his emails describing his experiences there, the people, the sights. I look forward to his photos. And I would have to say, the thing I look forward to most, is meeting him all over again. After a year, he and I will both be completely different people and I look forward to the butterflies in my stomach upon seeing him again. Checking him over for new wrinkles, new scars, more gray hairs. To be re-introduced to that teasing twinkle in his eyes. Some ask how to keep the spice in a relationship: try a one year separation! 

One day soon he will be getting on a plane that will be taking him to Afghanistan..(he did already b4 the time we had plan him goin ;( ). Usually when someone you know is going to fly somewhere, you wish them a good flight. Somehow the flight doesnt seem that important. Although, I will probably crack some joke along those lines, to make light of the situation. To make him laugh, to see that smile that I wont see for so long, one last time.(But we didn't get that chance you were supposed 2 come after training last week and me from miami and tell me when was the date you were leaving ;( , I think on sep 25 you knew that was our last weekend but didn't wanna let me know to avoid me the pain of a good bye that sunday ;,( so now i am numbed ,  got a called from u last night at 7pm with u sad voice (CUZ I KNOW ALL YOUR VOICES  )  EXPECTING u to tell me wut time you'll be back ..but nope ..u were already calling from afghanistan ..MY WORST NIGHTMARE had come true ... i pretended i was ok, u know trying to play along the mature role ;/ but when we hang up it hit me i wont see u 4 a whole year or maybe more , that i didn't even told you how much i will miss you and how much i love you , i didn't say sh*t .. i guess i was trying to tell my self till this morning that was all a bad dream and wrote last night my fb status dedicated 2 you..hoping i will wake up 2day and u will call again to tell me that last night called  was 1 of the many MEAN jokes we just 2 play 2 eachother..but nope.. it wasn't a bad dream it was all true and my AJ-LOKO is gone..and with him all my laughs, kisess.caresess,lil fights and the most amazing nights i ever spend w someone . I'M GRATEFUL i have my son and baby nephew cuz just by looking at them is like a soft caress to my soul

All i have left to do is 2 wonder what those last minutes of ours together will had been like. Part of me will fight to pretend that this is like any other goodbye we have had up to now. I can pretend that in a few days, I will be seeing him again, and that way I wont cry and turn into a basket case. But part of me will want to give the moment the honor it deserves. Acknowledge that I wont be seeing this man for a long time, and yes, that this, without being morbid, is potentially the last time I see him. How do you convey in one goodbye so many messages: be safe, do a good job, I'm so unbelievably proud of you, I love you, Ill miss you, I cant wait to see you again, it has been an honor knowing you, and I will always cherish the time I have spent with you? 

I hope to find the answer to that question soon. cuz till now the only words that come out of my mouth are plzz do not ever forget how much i adore you! my aj ;-) and yes i did give adrian and baby dany the kiss and blessings u send them last night ;-)