Buy the awesome people who deserve it the awesome crap they deserve.

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Nickelodeon 2012 Secret Sewer Lair Playset 

Makes up for Dad starting a new family.

Japanese Sodas

Perfect gift for your creepy brother who only dates asian women.

Retro Candy Assortment

Give grandma diabetes for Christmas so you can get the greatest gift of them all: Inheritance.

DIY Pick Punch

Buy this pick punch with your credit card, then punch picks out of your credit card so you can’t make anymore dumb purchases like this one.>

TracBall Snowball Launcher

Also works with ice cream and fecal matter.

Amazon Prime Instant Video 

For people who felt Netflix wasn’t exactly the same enough.

Halo 4

Almost as cool as a tribal tat. Bro.

6 Pack Beer & Soda Can Holster Belt

Sixtupple-fist it.

Super Warm NFL Slippers

Don’t let unemployment stop you from supporting your favorite football team.

Road Liter: Cooling and Warming Cup Holders

Keep those “road sodas” chill while you’re waiting for her to drop the kids off at the pool.

Maxim Subscription

Give boners for Christmas.