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The Short Dick of the Law

Okay first things first, I've never done this blog shit before, so no wisecracks! 

Last night I was cleaning all my guns, due to the fact that the swamp cooler in my house rusts them in the summer time, and I couldn't help but want to go kill something before the night ended.  So, I called up a couple of friends, let's call them Docter A and Docter B.  I use the word docter and not doctor because everybody in this small town talks the same and they all pronounce with the emphasis of an 'er' sound and not the 'or' sound, which alot of time sounds like they are saying doct-her or doct-errrr.  Anyway, we set off for the countryside with the intent to shoot anything that moved, excluding dogs because I am a dog lover.  We came upon our normal rabbit slaying spot over the hill on the way to the old Dillinger place, when all of a sudden we see about 40 rabbits all in one field.  Now I don't claim to know alot about the mating rituals of rabbits, or if they should even be mating at this time of year, but given the looks of things we had driven into a huge cottontailed fuckfest.  So, I quickly pulled over, loaded up both plugless 12 gauge shotguns and gave them to Docter's A & B.  I told them to hold on, shoot away, and we would pick up the bodies later(which we didn't but I'll get to that).  I drove into the orgy of bunnies and the shots rang out, it looked something like the holocaust except without the concentration camps, so I guess it was more like Normandy with bodies falling left and right.  Just as we got to the bottom of the field, the two Docter's are screaming with joy at the bloodshed they had just caused, when I look up and see a sherriff just down the road on his way the write us every ticket he could possibly think of.  "Oh fuck Russ, we gotta get outta here!'' exclaimed Docter B.  "Yeah get in, I have a route to safety," I said. 80 MPH down the country road we went, with the sherriff still debating whether he should get his car muddy and chase us or not.  Cherries on chasing us, I made the turn just before Clint's going sideway's and had it not been raining slightly, we might have rolled.  Kicked my truck in the ass and by then we were well away from the cop, looked in the rearview and saw that he went straight not making the turn, we lost him.  I continued to haul ass home, Docter A shitting his pants because he had never done this shit before, got home put the guns away and started to reminisce about what had just happened.  After they left I chuckled to myself, got out my phone, and texted my girlfriend that I had a blatant disregard to obey the law.  Just another day.

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