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The story of love, suburban living, peeing and ejaculating and divorce

TL;DR: A minor medical condition causes me to pee a lot and using bottles made since, since it was IMPOSSIBLE to leave my work from home desk sometimes and wife found them. Cum shirts didn't help.


This obviously sounds completely insane, but here is the explanation:

My wife and I are upper middle class professionals living in a nice little McMansion in suburbia. My wife is very nice and amazing all around but is a bit uppity and is highly highly concerned with appearances and what people think.


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She is a dentist and I'm a Software Architect and Business Operations consultant who has worked out of my house for 12 years with my office being a custom add-on with it's own attic. My wife has literally stepped into my office maybe 6 or 7 times in those 12 years (never even been up in the attic since construction being completed ) as I treat my office like "driving to work" and when I'm at work, my wife should only show up to my office in an emergency or something very important. Otherwise, call or email.

I have very minor Prostatitis that she doesn't even know about with the only real symptom being that I have drink A TON of water and thus pee A TON. I often work 12+ hours a day since my clients are all over the world and meetings routinely last 3-4 hours with no breaks. About 11 years ago during one of these meetings, I literally pissed my pants because some of my Asian clients consider it extremely rude to excuse yourself from even a long meeting.


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After this happened, I started using my water bottles I drink from as my toilet to pee. So as to not arouse any suspicion by my wife, I just bottled them up and threw them in my attic and would just take them to the dump on the weekend when she did one of her "girlfriend outings" that I knew she'd be gone for a while.

I ended up slacking on taking them out where it got to the point that it's been years since I've removed them and I just started using the bottles to pee in even when not in meetings. If I was at work, I peed in bottles. There are now 100's, hell probably thousands up there.


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On top of this, I would occasionally (maybe like once every few months) masturbate and use an extra dress shirt from my closet to clean up. Again, using same logic, I just threw them up in the attic with the intentions of removing them. Probably about 40 up there right now.


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This Friday, I had to go onsite to a client 2 hours away, so I drove there, did my work and came back home. Apparently one of my wife's friend bought a new house but can't move in until May and has to be out of her house by next week and need a place to store a number of boxes that didn't fit in her storage unit. My wife offered that we could store them in my attic without mentioning. So Friday, my wife and a few of her friends go to start putting boxes up there and are met with the piss bottles and cum shirts.


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The only thing she has said to me via text is that she is filing for divorce. What do I do?



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