Original:

From volcomisnewshit -- Aug 21, 7:46 pm EST

Ok i give up dude, you win.  I'm sorry For being such a jerk in the blog section.  I know I have father issues, and Im trying to deal with them.  But not the kind of father issues your thinking of.  Its different kinds of father issues.  For example, When I was in highschool, I was beating off to gay hentai porn and my dad walked into the room, and it scared me.  So I tried to stand up real fast and cover my small penis, but my pants were around my ankles.  This caused me to fall over and land right on my dads crotch, and it just so happened that his penis was sticking out and he had an erection and it went in my mouth.  And although this whole experience was enjoyable, I know that it was very wrong, and therefore I am still traumatized by the event. 

Hopefully now you see why I am such an anti-social person, and you realize that I have to spend my entire day on ebaumsworld acting like a complete idiot just to make myself feel better.  I hope you dont judge for acting like a homosexual faggy fagpie, even though thats really what I am, deep down inside.  I'd offer to suck your dick to bury the hatchet, but I dont want you to catch my mouth herpes, so instead I'll just say Im sorry.

your gay friend,
volcom